Top Douchebags of the month

I'm introducing a little monthly installment on the Asteroid Now blog called "Douchebag of the Month" in recognition of the slimiest most arrogant pricks I come across in the media. I'll make it brief so as not to dignify them with a concerted effort but I do feel they should be recognized for their abject douchiness. Starting from least to greatest.

Alaskrafts, a company in Alaska kills small furry animals and makes them into ugly bikinis that make you, your girlfriend or wife, look like a cast member from Quest for Fire. And while in a way that's awesome, in another way it's really lame. What's also confusing about this site is the amount of crazy evangelical sentences like "I repent of these actions and with your help I will change and not repeat them again" along the side of the website. I wonder if they're referring to killing small animals so that they can objectify women and dress them up like stone aged sex-slaves? If you scroll all the way down to the bottom right this is what you'll read: "I know that I am not worthy; but, I willingly accept You as my Lord and my Savior, and I thank You for Your blessings over my family and me. If interested in buying pelts please contact Mr. Cutler, NY City, (Manhattan) Phone:+1 (347) 484 1670, Tell him Steve Fields sent you." Well, Steve Might not be the slimiest and most arrogant prick but killing small animals to dress up women like cave-man sex slaves, and begging Jesus for mercy while repenting for his sins on his fur bikin website is just enough to land him a spot on this month's list.

Dutch long track Speed Skater Steve Kramer throws a hissy-fit after being disqualified from a race. Considered the best in the sport he abusively shoved a female volunteer on his way off the track from obvious disappointment, and perhaps an inherent douche streak. It was also alleged that he yelled " Is it not that you know who I am?! I'm the world's greatest long track speed skater in the history of the world of speed skating!" or something to that effect.

Chad Kroeger wants to shut down a Facebook fan page for a pickle that now officially has more fans than his Band Nickelback. The rock star, who many believe time traveled from 1994 to present day to pursue a classic rock career in the future, engaged in a heated debate with the young lady who started the fanpage as a joke. Now Chad is the bigger joke. Please travel back to Northern Alberta in the early 90s where you belong Kroeger. (seen in the photo above with his band...or is it to the right pointing like a total gaylord?)


And finally there's the Kenyan thugs who stole my friend Rob's money in Nairobi. These roving douches were created, or rather given vast douchey powers, after the bombing of the US Embassy in Kenya. They now comb the streets of Nairobi's central business district abusing locals and extorting foreigners. My friend Rob is on a humanitarian aid mission to help people in slums by improving sanitation and infrastructure. These "police" considered the most corrupt in East Africa took every last penny he had, save bus change to get home, after he gave a buck fifty to a beggar in the street. They win biggest douchebag of the month hands down.

Asteroid now (but only small ones, strategically landing wherever these douchebags might be)